With the ever-increasing influence of social media affecting every business, it is more important than ever to be hyper-vigilant when it comes to the perception by your patients that you care about them. They need to feel that you care about them more than money, more than efficiency, more than your own sense of importance.
And understand that the opposite of caring is indifference. Think about how quickly and easily you perceive when someone is being uncaring or indifferent to you? How little did you like it? And did you post somewhere about it? Did you feel compelled to tell someone? Or did you just not use that service anymore?
It doesn’t matter if you’re not feeling particularly caring that day or toward that patient (and I’m talking about everyone on the dental team, not just dentist). What matters is that they perceive that you care. Which means maybe you have to act like you care, even if you don’t feel like it. Because that’s the job.
This blog was inspired by a recent post by Seth Godin, whom I normally find extremely insightful, but this post was more akin to wisdom, and relates directly to creating a remarkable patient experience (my favorite theme!), so I’m going to quote it in its entirety here for you:
The Toxic Antidote to Goodwill,
by Seth Godin
Anyone who has done the math will tell you that word of mouth is the most efficient way to gain trust, spread the word and grow.
And yet…
It only takes a moment to destroy. Only a few sentences, a heartless broken promise, a lack of empathy, and it’s gone. Not only that, but the lost connection can easily lead to lawsuits.
Doctor, the surgery seems to have gone wrong!
It’s not my fault. I did a perfect job. Tough luck.
Architect, the floor is sagging, the beams were put in the wrong direction!
I don’t care. There’s a three-year statute of limitations, and even then, it wasn’t my job to ensure that the work met the plans.
Airline, my two-year-old can’t sit in a row by herself, and the agent on the phone said you’d work it so we could sit together!
It’s not my fault. If you don’t want to get on the plane, don’t get on the plane.
In all three cases, there are significant operational barriers to magically fixing the problem. But that’s not where the breakdown happened. It happened because a human being decided to not care. Not care and not express anything that felt like caring.
A human being, perhaps intimidated by lawyers, or tired after a hard day, or the victim of a bureaucracy (all valid reasons) then made the stupid decision to not care.
By not caring, by not expressing any empathy, this individual denied themselves their own humanity. By putting up a brick wall, they isolate themselves. Not only do they destroy any hope for word of mouth, they heap disrespect on someone else. By working so hard to not engage (in the vain hope that this will somehow keep them clean), they end up in the mud, never again to receive the benefit of the doubt.
What kind of day or week or career is that? To live in a lucite bubble, keeping track only of individuals defeated and revenue generated?
It turns out that while people like to have their problems fixed, what they most want is to be seen and to be cared about.
Of course you should use these fraught moments to reinforce connections and build word of mouth. Of course you should realize that in fact people like us get asked to recommend airlines and doctors and architects all the time, but now, we will never ever recommend you to anyone, in fact, we’ll go out of our way to keep people from choosing you.
But the real reason you should extend yourself in these moments when it all falls apart is that this is how you will measure yourself over time. What did you do when you had a chance to connect and to care?
Sometimes the only option is to reach deep into ourselves to offer up caring even when we feel we are too busy, too annoyed, too frustrated or too frazzled. But this is when it makes all the difference. And if it’s just a performance, so be it. Because what happens almost every time is that other person responds positively, warmly, humanly. And suddenly you feel yourself genuinely caring. And find a way to solve the issue.

Fred, thank you, I always enjoy reading your posts. We have built our practice on kindness. We have a very personable team and no matter what is going on in our lives, we always pull it together for our patients, to make their experience with our office a great one. Patients actually comment on how well they were treated, not only by the doctor, but the entire staff. It is mentioned in nearly every single review of our office. We are proud of that, and so very grateful to have such wonderful patients. We would not be where we are today without treating people with the utmost care and courtesy no matter what the circumstance. Have a great day Fred!
this is great, and so true.
I love seth godin’s work…there was a dental town (private) forum dedicated to going through his most recent marketing seminar (which sadly im in middle and need to get back on track..)
So true! it doesn’t take a whole lot to “care” even if you can’t deliver the desired outcome. Going forward this will allow a big separation between you and your competitors.
Play an active role in the way social media shapes your reputation and image. Respond to all positive and negative comments and reviews. Control the narrative.
I have always been one to comment to my co-workers about the lack of compassion, or recognition, at some of our colleagues offices. and wonder how they maintain a practice with such ambivalence. Sad for the patients to be nothing more then a name on a sign in sheet!
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Teeth Whitening