As we roll deeper into the 21st century and face the beginning of yet another new year, I wonder sometimes what this rampant ADD we all seem to be fully engaged in will add up to in terms of life satisfaction.
We seem to relentlessly pursue endeavors in anticipation of the next endeavor, or the one after that, instead of enjoying the one we’re doing, or we doing things that are enjoyable three at a time, instead of letting ourselves relax and just participate in a moment without multiple distractions.
This behavior is not new. It all started back when I was young, with TV dinners. Suddenly you couldn’t just sit and eat a meal. You had to be watching a show at the same time. So don’t blame the cell phone. It happened way before that. But now, if you try to have dinner with your family without anyone checking Snapchat or Twitch forty times during the meal, then the irritation/anxiety/bad attitude index goes through the roof.
And if I see one more dad sitting looking at his cell phone while his son or daughter sits next to them playing by themselves, I’m going to scream. “This kid will be in college before you know it,” I want to shout. Never mind that, in fact. Within three years the kid will have his own smart phone and you will cease to exist.
And I’m not saying all this technology is bad. I love it. It’s made it possible for me to be in contact with people I love much more easily, and answer any question without having to use my memory, and be reminded of the thousand things I’ve scheduled in my life. But texts interrupt us, notifications distract us, email inundates us, and the idea of watching a TV show while playing a game on your iPad and checking Facebook every ten minutes seems as antiquated as riding a horse to work.
And let’s also dispel the myth of multi-tasking. It’s been absolutely demonstrated with brainwave studies that we are simply switching back and forth between the tasks, not multi-tasking. Which means we are losing our ability to focus for more than a few seconds. In a single generation we’ve gone from reading War and Peace to not being able to finish reading a Tweet because it takes too long.
And I’m just as bad. I drive in a hurry even when I’m not going anywhere. I panic if halfway through my workout the podcast seems to be a load of nonsense. I look at my Apple Watch the second it buzzes with a message. (Although half the time it’s just telling me to stand up.) Is all this bringing me joy? Honestly, no.
So where am I going with this rant? I have no hope or even intention of rolling back the atomic clock on technology. What I am suggesting is that we re-learn how to savor. This mad pursuit of multiple activities has suppressed our ability to savor what can be delicious single moments in life.
When I was in college we all used to sit and listen to an entire album (that’s a vinyl LP, for you young ‘uns) and then have to flip it over to hear the other side. And that was all we did. And those songs still play in my head now. It was wonderful.
We skied without listening to headphones, and we read books from cover to cover, sometimes in one sitting. We sat and had a few drinks without six televisions in our eyeline. We played Trivial Pursuit and actually had to use our brains instead of our phones.
So all I’m suggesting is that for 2019, maybe take some part of your day and just do one single thing sometime during the course of your day, and savor it.
Sit and just drink your half-caff almond latte. Enjoy it, the flavor, the warmth. Without checking your email.
- Listen to an entire song, maybe even an entire album, without doing anything else.
- Chat with a dear friend, phones on silent, tucked away.
- Take a walk without listening to a playlist or a podcast. Just enjoy the air, the sky and nature, or the bustling world around you.
- Cook a meal from scratch together, and eat it, enjoying every bite, devoid of electronic distraction.
- Listen to an old person tell you about their life. Ask them questions. (I have a thousand questions I wish I could ask my dad. Sadly, he’s long gone.)
- Meditate. For ten minutes even. (If you have no idea how, go to calm.com. It’s easy. And good for just about everything.)
- Or just take fifteen seconds and look up at the clouds. Or the stars. Or down at a flower. Or watch your kids play.
Just a little bit, for a few moments in the day.
And maybe we’ll discover that happiness isn’t so hard to find after all.Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2018 Fred Joyal
Thanks, Fred, for your insightful post. A great reminder. You and I grew up in the same era. And yes, this behavior is not new. There have always been distractions. But you are spot on in saying that they’re certainly more pronounced today. Of all the points you made, the one I like most is “savoring” the time with your kids. I just became an empty nester. It breaks my heart when I see a young mother with a small child so engaged on Instagram that she doesn’t communicate with her child. Those first formative years are THE most important in a child’s life. They learn everything from their mom and dad… Even from the expressions on their faces. So, I am going to take your advice and savor more. Thanks again for the reminder.
Thanks, Jack. I’m glad it resonated. Having never had children myself, and that being one of my biggest regrets, it disheartens me as well to see those precious moments wasted. All the best to you this year, Jack!
I wish you a great 2019 as well, Fred!
Great post! I’ve often wondered if this generation will some day write something similar with lines such as in my day we could just sit and scroll endlessly through fb and instagram without xyz technology. In other words is that their version of relaxing vs sitting and listening to an entire album (for me being 40 it was a whole CD but that too is long gone now). Enjoy your kids really hits home as mine start to get older I find I really want to work less right now even though we are busier than ever.
Thanks, Bryan. It’s hard to imagine what life will be like with the technology we will have in two decades, never mind 40 years! I plan to live to see it, savoring all the way!
Wonderful post, Fred! Good reminder to take moments every day to savor and be present while we move through our lives.
Well said Fred! Thank you for this.
Hi Fred, I’m halfway through listening to your awesome book on audible while enjoying a family holiday in Del Ray Beach Florida. I’ve just googled you and found this blog This article is great! Look forward to reading more and putting your marketing ideas into play in South Africa
Best of luck for 2019
Glad you’re enjoying the book, Clifford! Stay tuned for more exciting stuff, and also check out fredjoyal.com, which is my speaker site.
Bravo Fred! Great message on bringing joy back into our life! Hugs and happy New Year!
Super great, Fred, and well-said! I think this is one of your best blogs, and reminds us to actually “be present in the moment” rather than thinking of “what comes next?” It’s been my experience that, the older I get, the more precious is time spent with family, friends, and loved ones. Please keep sharing your wisdom! All the best in this new year!
Thanks, Wayne. You are always an inspiration to me when it comes to living a high-quality life!
Thank you, Sir! You’re too kind!!
I always enjoy your posts, they make me think. I also like that you talk about the quality of life, not necessarily what you have to do to make a buck. Don’t change.
Thanks for those very kind words, Josie. I promise not to change!
Great message, Fred. I have eight bird feeders out on my back patio. I can spend hours just watching these little creatures feed and interact with each other. I have had to train myself not to feel guilty if I spend several Saturday morning hours, and it has become a refreshing break in a busy week.
You have reinforced that for me. Thank you.
I’m sure the birds are savoring the seed as you savor the morning!
Greets from your DWD buddy from Austria – great post!
Enjoyed reading this and when I got to the part about you wanting to scream at parents, I looked over at my little girl and asked her if she wanted to play. Her face lit up and she ran to get some toys for us to play with. She’s 5 and I’m thrilled to be able to stay home with her instead of having to work. I homeschool both my kids- they attend online schools. We spend a ton of time together and have the opportunity to enjoy many fun adventures since we get to set our schedules any way we like. It’s awesome! I’ve told them how I worked for your company years ago. They thought you sounded like a great employer- and you were. I’ll tell them I found out you have a blog. They’ll think it’s cool. And now, taking your advice, I’ll call my Dad and ask him some questions. He loves to talk. I love to learn and listen. I’ll tell him about your blog, too. He’ll be surprised I found it. Best regards!
Thank you so much, Janel. I’m particularly happy to hear about you and your dad. All the best to you and your children!